I don't want to forget though...I want to do something. Something. I don't know what yet. Something to honor him...something to help others. But whenever I think of something, I realize I've got a someone at home that I can't leave for more than a couple of hours. Right now, thats fine by me... (Do you think mama cats like to smell their kittens as much as I like smelling my little Olivia? Because I can't think of much I'd rather do than sit here all day and night and sniff her hair and her neck and her fingers and toes.) ...but someday soon. I've been inspired so much by the other Angel Child Moms I've met and their various goals and service projects. (I'm going to be adding links to their blogs, too, since sometimes they express thoughts and feelings so much better than I could have. We've realized that it helps those in our lives to see how others are dealing with the grieving process, too.)
They had a memorial service at UCLA on Mother's Day for all the children who died at the hospital in the last year. Obviously we didn't go. First, we didn't get the invitation in the mail until the week before, and second, I don't think we would've wanted to go back there so soon anyway. I do wonder who spoke and what they said. I wonder if his doctors would've been there. I wonder who the other parents were sitting in those awful chairs. I wonder what the programs looked like, and if anyone felt anything when they read Gavin Charles Sprague. I wish I could have been there, without actually being there...Los Angeles... (I just realized how appropriate the name is...City of Angels) ...it doesn't hold so much promise and life for us as it once did. I don't know if I'll ever want to go back.
Mother's Day wasn't all that bad surprisingly enough. In fact, it was pretty nice. We all stayed home from church and Andre made breakfast. He gave me this pendant:
Its an opal...I didn't really get it, until he told me to turn it over...
He bought the stone, designed the setting and had it made for me. Opals are Gavin's birthstone. I love it. Its hard to photograph, but its really shiny and colorful when the light hits it. I just need to figure out what sort of chain to wear it on. I think it needs a super long chain since its so big.
7 comments:
Awww, I love that Bethany. Your baby DOES smell good!! I love it! :) The pendant is beautiful, what a special gift.
Hey, I have 2 disposable cameras to give you for your friends boxes. Don't let me forget to give them to you. My boys don't smell so sweet anymore, but I do still like to hold and smell them when they let me.
The pendant is beautiful!!
I had a dream with you in it last night. We were on the phone, then we went to your house, and then I got to see you at the reunion. Random, I know. I think its because you had a new post and then we got Olivia's announcement in the mail. You have been on my mind. I am glad time is going quicker for you now. We just had our 2 year anniversary. It was hard to swallow, such a long time. And now I am rambling.
what a special gift...so beautiful.
i never attended the memorial service at pch either and i felt the same way. i wanted to be there, i didn't want to be there. we always have to deal with those conflicting wants don't we? i want to forget somethings, i want to remember everything. =?
i don't know of anything that smells more delicious than a sweet baby or anything that feels as wonderful! olivia is adorable!!
Way to go Andre!!! WOW, that is an awesome gift. Very thoughtful and creative of him. Hailey is wondering "when is baby Olivia is coming over again? Mom, I need to hold her!" she says! :)
Holy cow, that's gorgeous! Way to go Andre!
Just wanted to let you know I've been thinking of you and your sweet family.
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