September

September sucks.

I didn't think this year would be so hard. The last few months have been so good. I've been happy.

HAPPY.

I never would've believed I could feel that way. So I thought, its getting easier, its going to be fine from here on out. How soon you forget about the tidal waves...

I didn't even realize how close the anniversary of his death was until a few weeks ago. I kept thinking 'its been a year and a half" and then all of sudden it was just a month away. Since then, the storm clouds have been rolling in. I feel anxious and weighted down. Its nauseating. No matter how I try to ignore it, I can feel the pressure increasing. Its like even if I don't realize it, my soul does.

That part of my life feels like a dream now. Everything is fuzzy around the edges. I try to hold on to it, but its sand through my fingers. Sometimes this makes it easier to bear...sometimes its just really depressing. I want all of him to remain crystal clear, but with that comes the sharp, glass edge of pain.



"Wake Me Up When September Ends"

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when September ends

like my fathers come to pass
seven years has gone so fast
wake me up when September ends

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when September ends

summer has come and passed
the innocent can never last
wake me up when September ends

ring out the bells again
like we did when spring began
wake me up when September ends

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when September ends

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when September ends

like my fathers come to pass
twenty years has gone so fast
wake me up when September ends
wake me up when September ends
wake me up when September ends