Sunday, March 8, 2009

"Men don't cry"







It must be very difficult
To be a man in grief,
Since "men don't cry" and "men are strong"
No tears can bring relief.

It must be very difficult
To stand up to the test
And field the calls and visitors
So she can get some rest.

They always ask if she's all right
And what she's going through.
But seldom take his hand and ask,
"My friend, but how are you?"

He hears her crying in the night
And thinks his heart will break.
He dries her tears and comforts her,
But "stays strong" for her sake.

It must be very difficult
To start each day anew.
And try to be so very brave-
He lost his baby, too.


~Eileen Knight Hagemeister

10 comments:

nancy said...

he happened to be sitting next to me when i saw your post. i read it out loud. his comment, "that's right." the timing of this post is amazing as i had one of those flashback "moments" this morning right after waking up. as i gave in to the tears, i though of how hard it must be for him too. we may grieve differently...but we both grieve, and ... it must be hard. it is.

Melody B. said...

Wow, that is an enlightening poem. Men always portray themselves as "fine", so it is easy to assume they are just that...."fine". I wish our society was not so expectant of men to be strong like a stone. How then do they heal? In quiet moments to themselves? That's really sad. I can't imagine going through losing a child and not feeling free to grieve whenever, wherever. Thank you for this poem.:)

The Giffords said...

I have thought about this often. We pray for Andre too and hope he knows that we are here for him too.

Bret and Julie Burnham said...

Beth and Andre it has been a while since I posted a comment but I just wanted to let you know that I think about Gavin often and he won't be forgotten. I love you guys and pray for you. I have no idea of how it feels to loose someone so precious to you. Just know we love you and pray for you.

TheMoncurs said...

I often think of Andre but just don't know what to say to him. He's in my prayers every bit as much as you are though. We love you guys.

marie said...

Love you guys!

Colby Kids said...

I don't know how you guys are doing it. That's a beautiful poem. The pictures are so very moving.

Barrett, Melinda, & Angel Trinity Adams said...

Did you get this off my blog? I got it off another angel mom's blog, and I couldn't help but copy and paste it to mine. Barrett has been the "Strong One", and yet, he too lost his daughter. So many times our man is looked over during his pain, and we are the ones that people pay attention to.

Love you!

{ Bethany } said...

Mindy,

Yes! I saw it on someone else's blog, too (can't remember who now) but when I saw it the second time on yours I decided to copy it. I liked how you put the pictures up with it.

~Bethany

Rachel said...

I have known Andre for years (like maybe 16??) ... And when I found him he directed me to your blog about your sweet baby Gavin. When I read that he had passed my heart broke and ached for you as his mother, but also for my friend Andre. Let him know that if there was something that I could say that would help I would say it, or do it... but there is nothing. Nothing but knowing that there are people out there who love and care about you and your family and feel for the grief and loss that you are enduring.
Love, Rachel